I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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