ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
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