You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
