i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
