No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
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