i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
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