it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize
