I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
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