drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
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