all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Randomize
