i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
babies were throwing up all over the place
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Randomize
