Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Randomize
