he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
