no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
