I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Randomize
