Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
