Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
