you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
