Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize