guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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