You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Randomize
