Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
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