I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Randomize
