I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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