Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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