i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
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