school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
