You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
