i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
