just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
