I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize