Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
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