awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Randomize
