Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
