guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
