i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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