I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
