walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
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