loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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