i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
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