I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
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