There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
