i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Randomize
