I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
