Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Randomize
