Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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