i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
