In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
