You're so nebulous sometimes
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Randomize
