There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
The air was thick with penises
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
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