hell yes lets make some ravioli
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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