Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Randomize