Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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