Buhtt sex?
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
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