If i come over, it means nothing
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
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