she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
