she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
