I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
