You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
I will die if light touches me.
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Randomize
