Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Randomize
