The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Randomize
