I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
