Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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