I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
