i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I just googled if crying burns calories
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
