Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
