I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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