I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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