a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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