and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
