i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Randomize
