I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
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