i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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