she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
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