turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
