He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
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